Seriously, I think I'm wasting my life with every seconds passing. What the hell have I been doing for the past few years? Being engrossed in a relationship thinking that it can last till marriage and thereafter. Neglecting the people around me, being even lazy and using the relationship as an excuse for not studying or mugging for homework. I'm not saying that I wasn't serious bout the relationship. I'm dead serious bout it. A little too serious I guess, Man... I'm really a fool. Girl, if you are reading this, dun get mistaken, I'm not trying to speak anything bad about you... Nothing like that at all... I'm just reflecting on my stupid self... Realized that during the last few months of our relationship, I've really neglected you too. Everything was only bout me, me, me and you. Haven't really spent much time to chat with you, be concerned about your life, share with you my thoughts, listen to what you have to say and all. Maybe that's the reason why you said that you don't feel the love in us anymore. I'm so sorry about that. Really hope that you could give me 1 more chance.. sigh.. sorry for saying all this here.

I Still Love You,

I Really Do.

Realize that my phone hasn't been ringing as often... Guess my observation really suck cause it hasn't really been ringing from 2 mths back. Sigh... really feel lonely inside... Guess it's like what my friends said. It's due to the fact that I was in a relationship for quite some time and suddenly I have to be alone. argh... Can't concentrate on my studies.. and I'm really stressed up now... really need a shout out... My math paper is in like 5 hours and 40 minutes time and i can't seem to get to bed or get anymore things into my head... Feeling really lousy right now... Had some flash backs while I was "watching" the movie "Click" with her (that was on tuesday)... bout our past and all... like everytime she tells me that her hands are cold, I'd hold her hands in between mine to warm her hands up... She told me that her hands are cold that day, I wanted to warm her hands up just 1 more time, i thought i could, but she just took her hands away. ouch... that really hurt my heart real bad.. sigh.. remembering that everytime we go to the movies, i'd bring a long sleeve shirt ( normally the black adidas shirt) for her so she probably can keep her body warm for a little bit longer... argh... hey, the pharse is really right. You dun miss the water till it's gone. sigh... yea, i still do miss her and love her... wonder if she does... Even though she says that she don't and said that she won't come back to me, I'll still hope that one day, she'll be back by my side. Damn... I really miss her... i really do... time check, 3:34 am, 5 hours and 26 more minutes to paper time... I'm totally freaking out now and i can't get to sleep... I think I need a doctor...

HAPPY!!! That's how I'm feeling and I'm Smiling real WIDE!!! Why? I have no idea, maybe it's cause I sorta chatted with her today. Ended the chat with something that I really held back for long. I said the 3 words to her! (luckily she did not get pissed off with me. Or maybe she give up le, or just play along) Hmmm... ok... i got myself thinking now... ok... I'll rather be optimistic. ^ ^
I'M HAPPY!!! HELL YEA I AM!