Seriously, I think I'm wasting my life with every seconds passing. What the hell have I been doing for the past few years? Being engrossed in a relationship thinking that it can last till marriage and thereafter. Neglecting the people around me, being even lazy and using the relationship as an excuse for not studying or mugging for homework. I'm not saying that I wasn't serious bout the relationship. I'm dead serious bout it. A little too serious I guess, Man... I'm really a fool. Girl, if you are reading this, dun get mistaken, I'm not trying to speak anything bad about you... Nothing like that at all... I'm just reflecting on my stupid self... Realized that during the last few months of our relationship, I've really neglected you too. Everything was only bout me, me, me and you. Haven't really spent much time to chat with you, be concerned about your life, share with you my thoughts, listen to what you have to say and all. Maybe that's the reason why you said that you don't feel the love in us anymore. I'm so sorry about that. Really hope that you could give me 1 more chance.. sigh.. sorry for saying all this here.

I Still Love You,

I Really Do.

Realize that my phone hasn't been ringing as often... Guess my observation really suck cause it hasn't really been ringing from 2 mths back. Sigh... really feel lonely inside... Guess it's like what my friends said. It's due to the fact that I was in a relationship for quite some time and suddenly I have to be alone. argh... Can't concentrate on my studies.. and I'm really stressed up now... really need a shout out... My math paper is in like 5 hours and 40 minutes time and i can't seem to get to bed or get anymore things into my head... Feeling really lousy right now... Had some flash backs while I was "watching" the movie "Click" with her (that was on tuesday)... bout our past and all... like everytime she tells me that her hands are cold, I'd hold her hands in between mine to warm her hands up... She told me that her hands are cold that day, I wanted to warm her hands up just 1 more time, i thought i could, but she just took her hands away. ouch... that really hurt my heart real bad.. sigh.. remembering that everytime we go to the movies, i'd bring a long sleeve shirt ( normally the black adidas shirt) for her so she probably can keep her body warm for a little bit longer... argh... hey, the pharse is really right. You dun miss the water till it's gone. sigh... yea, i still do miss her and love her... wonder if she does... Even though she says that she don't and said that she won't come back to me, I'll still hope that one day, she'll be back by my side. Damn... I really miss her... i really do... time check, 3:34 am, 5 hours and 26 more minutes to paper time... I'm totally freaking out now and i can't get to sleep... I think I need a doctor...

HAPPY!!! That's how I'm feeling and I'm Smiling real WIDE!!! Why? I have no idea, maybe it's cause I sorta chatted with her today. Ended the chat with something that I really held back for long. I said the 3 words to her! (luckily she did not get pissed off with me. Or maybe she give up le, or just play along) Hmmm... ok... i got myself thinking now... ok... I'll rather be optimistic. ^ ^
I'M HAPPY!!! HELL YEA I AM!

KERTONNI!!! haha. ok if you don't know wad that is, i'll tell you that it's the name of a french dish. But in actual fact, It's InnoTrek spelt backwards.. duh... haha. Went for their training camp yesterday. yeap, I'm joining InnoTrek and i'll be dragging Catrina and maybe Mokthar in with me. haha Considering the fact that we are really good buddies and we share the same passion for outdoors, nope, i can't miss them out from this.

Decided to backout from the filming competition. Wanna concentrate on my studies this semester( definately next sem too.). Sry Hui min Jie the rest of the crew. Just hope that i won't fail anything again... sigh... GAMBATTE!!! okok i'm going off to study. ciaoz

Wow... found another clip bout Kittens.. ok... for this video, it's only 1 little kitten. BUT!!! It's more than enuff to melt your heart. Trust Me... Try watching it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgEmZ39EtFk

Darn... Why did the organiser change the U.N.I. event to an outdoor one... ARGH!!! Just this change, I have to change everything that I've came up with. Gotta change the music, the costumes, My Whole FREAKING PLAN!!! Damn... yea... I'm complaining again... Stuck at the stage of remixing songs for my dance... Lack of resources... Songs in my laptop are outdated... Anyone out there willing to go CD shopping with me @ Tower Records and HMV? man.... I'm utterly dissapointed due to the fact that my cheoreography will not be brought into a theatre. RAWR!!!

Ow~ my heart is aching like mad... Why the heck did I ask her bout the past? What in the world are you doin Jeffrey Lee!!! You jolly well know that you only will hurt urself deeper! THEN WHY THE FARK DID U TALK ABOUT THAT!!! U BLOODY LOSER!!! YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST RUN INTO A WALL A WHOLE GAZILLION TIMES AND HOPEFULLY DIE!!! YOU KNOW THAT NOTHING CAN CHANGE THIS FACT. IT'S OVER AND THAT'S THAT. WHY THE FARK ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO IT LIKE A MOFO. GETTING YOURSELF HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN DUE TO THIS. FOR WHAT? YOU MOFO. GET A GRIP, USE THE CHANGE AND GET A FARKING LIFE!!!

found 3 links that really made me wipe those tears away and put a smile onto my face. Gonna share it with you all here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmNt8wzXJZE&search=cats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=745qEtcUth8&NR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHJ9eUkjWgY&search=cats

Cats are just so cute, cuddly and innocent... Lovethem all!

Been havin alot of pleasant dreams this few nights bout the past that is. No matter how much i tell myself that it's over, but at least this memories are still with me and fresh, I just can't stop my tears from trickling down. Sigh... Still, I'm forcing myself to let it go, but at the same time, a part of me still holds on to her. Argh... My mind's all messed up again... ciaoz

Ok ppl, Seriously, Tell me, Wassup with ppl always being late??? I mean, if u know u are gonna be late, or not be able to show up, will you at least inform ur friends that you'll be late? I betcha will right? I just can't accept the fact that if u made a promise that you'll be down for the practise AND ON TIME why the heck will you only show when around 4 plus when practise starts at 1. Ok... U went out with you buddies till late... That's no excuse dawg... 2 of them went for dance lessons in the morn... They could wake up. Fact is that THEY REACHED HOME MUCH LATER THAN U!!! So dun give me some lame reasons to why you can't wake up... stop giving me ur lame ass excuses and show me something.. Lemme see u doing wad you said and not hearing wad you talk.

As u can see, I'm totally pissed off today. Supposedly, I'm meeting my crew down for practise at 1 today ( Sunday) only 3, including me, turned up. the rest... Not only they did not turn up, they did not even inform us bout it. Even though I informed them bout the dates and all on Monday, none of them even bothered to reply to my e-mail. 5 -6 days... that's the time they had to check their mail boxes, even told them after practise that i'll send e-mails to them, so remember to check. i think only 3 did. Even though they did not reply, they came. ok, Kai Wei have lessons b4 that so he can't make it, thanks bro, at least you told me b4 hand. Xiao Wei, Amanda, you 2 left me speechelss. Thanks for that. Kenrick, Fark you dipshit. If your do believe that you keep ur promises, I'd promise you that the next time you screw things up, I'd be glad and be the first to greet you with my fists. Remember that, you are really got to my nerves this time. I'm not gonna sit back and let this dance drag on.

This is a note to all that's reading this entry. I'm a person that HATES ppl being late. I'm sure most of ur friends do too. Unless they are the ones that are always late. Shud try waiting for late comers OVER AND OVER AGAIN for WEEKS! So do the society a favor and be early. Damn... we shud have a campaign man... Or maybe like jail or fine late comers. Make it a law man... If you can't do it like a respondible human, you gotta be taught how to. Damn late comers!
U all SARK!

Sorry For The Stupid Things Lyrics
By: Babyface

Sometimes we wish for the better
When we have it good as it gets
Sometimes the grass isn't greener
Sometimes we find out we forget
Sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really don't mean it all

Sometimes a man
Just don't be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do
Oh so sorry, oh no, oh so sorry

Sometimes I wish I was smarter
Wish I was a bit more like you
Not making stupid decisions made at the last minute
You live to regret when it's through

Well, sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
And sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it all

Sometimes a man
Just don't be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Can't always be strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do

Sometimes the fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it at all, at all

Sometimes a man
Just don't be a man
It's not an excuse
It's just how it is
Sometimes the wrong
Don't know that they're wrong
Sometimes the strong
Ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl
Is gon' be a girl
She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do but I do

OH MY GAWD!!! Had a shocking of my life just 1 hour ago. o.O Was doing my proj till my laptop just went blank on me!!! First thing i thought "Shit!!! MY EX's PICTURES!!!" den i recalled bout my proj. haha. Shit man... My proj's gone... I can redo them though... Luckily not her pictures... sigh... doubt i can get em all back if they were lost. phew... haha hey hey hey HELP!!!! 10 pages on a particular topic for a proj!!! OH MY GAWD!!! WAD THE HELL AM I STILL DOING HERE!!! hahaha off i go! =poof=

When Can I See You Again Lyrics
by Babyface

When can my heart beat again
When does the pain ever end
When do the tears stop from running over
When does you'll get over it begin

I hear what you're sayin'
But I swear that it's not making sense
So when can I see you

When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see you again

When does my someday begin
When I'll find someone again
And what if I still am not truly over
What am I supposed to do then

Please hear what I'm sayin'
Even if, if it's not making sense
So when can I see you

[HOOK]

Please hear what I'm sayin'
Even if, if it's not making sense
So when can I see you

[HOOK 2 times]

Lifeless... Skipped school today... no mood for school... Wonder how did I scored for my Applied Mechanics... hope I can pass that... Got back my results for the other modules... not quite happy with it.. Thermodynamics 80 ( i lost 16 marks due to carelessness!!!), Engineering Math 3B, 71 ( forgot to do 1 question!) and Project Management 64. ZZzzz... I flared up at my lecturer for Project Management yesterday... Really can't take it anymore... Just imagine... He goes into the class... teaches you nothin at all and calls you to do the assignments... He don't even know how to use the programme!!! OMG!!! We gotta learn it by ourselves man... I wonder why did Ngee Ann even hire him... plz... someone just sack him!

=====================================================================
WHOO!!! LIM CHEE WEE GOT SACKED!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA... TIME TO GET BACK INTO NP ARCHERY CLUB AND OWN EVERYONE AGAIN!!!

Why does my heart cries...

Hey, have your parents ever went to dye their hair??? I bet most of your parents do right? Colour like black... brown... maroon... ya? haha. my dad was hoping to that too... Disastrous... haha. Apparently my dad tried this hair dye out on his head. My mom helped... it's either that they got the wrong colour, or they left the dye on the hair for too long. haha My dad's hair colour become ORANGE!!! OMG!!! First think i see the hair colour, I thought of Kurosaki Ichigo... Then my dad role playing him... MAN!!! TOTALLY MESSED UP!!! hahaha! omg omg omg... can't stop laughing man... ARGH!!!! PAY PER VIEW!!! 2 bucks for each view!!! OMG!!! hahaha.. sry dad... my bad... anyway.. repeat after me... WASSUP!!!! ^_^

Hmmm... Shit... I forgot all bout my Applied Mechanics project... A 10 pages long essay... ZzZzZzz.. and also a script to write... Yea, that's right, a script. It's for a videography competition that a group of my friends and I decided to join.. aRgh!!! I'm Late!!! haha Come on! Give me some Ideas bout it! Story is bout hair cut... hmmm.. OMG!!! What is it suppose to be!!! ARGH!!!! i'm so in deep trouble.

Dance!!! haha sry i'm going crazy... Been thinking bout 8 counts of dance steps for like 3 hours plus... but nothing new struck my mind... damn... wonder when can we finish our 5 minutes dance... sigh... oh well.. hope that we can get it done before 22nd of August... got a performance that day... no idea if my crew ( not troupe) wants to clinche this show a not.. RAWR! =snores= i'll go think somemore.

hmmm.... after so long... I'm still trying to handle it... hmmm... yea... sigh...

Injured myself from doing stunts yesterday... my right ankle, both knees and my spine is hurt. Again. I have no freaking idea of what I am doing... Peeps... Next time, if you mind is not clear... DO NOT!!! I repeat! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO STUNTS!!! haha. oh well... resting at home like a freaking cripple now... who'll be there to bother bout me other than my parents... nawh... no one.. they don't even really bother bout my injuries... too used to it le... sigh... i should just bang my head into the wall now and probably get myself into a deep sleep. so that I can forget bout the past. :) ain't that better? oh well... let's see bout that... a broken skull to begin with... Ugly.. LOL!!! ZZzzz I have no idea wad the heck and i thinking now. I'm not even in the right mind to blog bout anything. so.. yea. signing off there. =poof=

Ah... Tired... didn't know that dancing for 4 items in a row can be real tiring... haha.. yea... I had a performance this afternoon at toa payoh hub. :) hmmm... the crowd isn't really very big and most of them are Ah mas and young children. shagged... time now is... 21 11... Off to bed I go!!! Another performance tomorrow... same place... same time... ZzZzZ Snorez...

Peepz, I just realise something... The more you get yourself into a relationship... The more you'll put your heart and soul into it and you'll love the person more... In the same time... you'll get even more stubborn each time and will try to fight even harder for the relationship to last... But when it all comes to an end... The pain will be even more excrutiating... More unbearable...

You want to move on... Yet your legs are rooted to the concrete floor that you and your other half paved... But only that you forgot to move your legs until the concrete is totally dry... the only way that you can move on is to smash the concrete... Smash every single bit of it so you'll be free... But still there is a chain linked to the other person... And when you can't live with that chain... You have to break it... And the fastest way is to hate the person... If not, the other way round...

Sigh... Please hate me... I'm sorry to make you the "Bad person"... But I just can't hate you... I'm sorry... I love you...

Damn it man... Just how long will I stay like this... Damn it!!! I hate to be weak... Why the FARK I cried even talking to her bout things that has nothin to do with our past. SOMEONE JUST FARKING B*tchslap me man!

Artist Name: 98 Degrees
Album Name: 98 Degrees and Rising
Song Name: I Do (Cherish You)
Lyrics:
I do, I do, I do, I do
All I am, all I'll be
Everything in this world
All that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes
Shining at me
When you smile I can feel
All my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations
Seduce me 'cause I
I do cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will love you still
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
I do

In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Til that day, I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all of my heart
'Til my dying day I do (I'll cherish you my baby)
Cherish you (This much I know it's true)
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will (I'll always love you baby)
Love you still (This much my love it's true)
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much
Yes I do (I really love you)
I do (I really love you)
If you're asking do I love you this much
Baby I do (I'll cherish you my baby)
Cherish you (This much I know it's true)
From the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking me do I love you this much
Baby, I do
I do

I think I really need counselling... I'm totally breaking down into bits now... I'm just a freaking weakling... even though I kept forcing myself to hold back those tears... They just keep rolling down... I really need some help over here... Every single thing I do now makes me think of her all over again... Yes... Even when I shampoo my hair... I'd even think of when she helps me to wash my hair... Never knew that that moment of happiness could also become something that could hurt me even more... Shit man... I so feel like screaming out loud now... Feel so desperate... so lonely... helpless... Sucks... this all just suck big time... Peeps that I've helped in their emotional problems before... PLEASE HELP ME NOW!!! :'(


With you in my life,
I had the strength to do anything.
But now you're gone,
I'm reduced to almost nothing.

You don't miss your water till the well runs dry...

Since the day we parted, I’ve been thinking a lot bout the time we had. Been laughing and crying like a retard when I think of the every single moment that we've spent together. I’ve always been like that though. Starting from the day that I saw you performed “Cats” during assembly till the day that we break…



Sigh…



I miss you a lot... How bout you??? Sigh… Is it really that easy to let a person that you loved so much leave your heart??? Man… I'm totally nerfed… sigh… hope that you'll come back to me someday. I really love you… I really do… When will you come back to me to complete me once again??? I just suck don’t I???

Friends, that’s what you want us to be, maybe for now, maybe forever. I’ll try my best to be your friend, just a normal friend. Give me more time. I need more time. I don’t know how long I will take or how long will I last… Please wait for me just like I’m waiting for you ok?

I Love You...

Call Me When You Get This Corinne Bailey Rae lyrics
Artist: Corinne Bailey Rae
Album: Corinne Bailey Rae
Year: 2006
Title: Call Me When You Get This

How does it feel being in these arms?
What's it really like to be loved?
I've been alone now, how long?
Have you ever loved the way that i have?
And i have often wondered who,
who could love you the way i do?
now i just want you to know,
how i'm touched deep in my soul just being with you.
and i need you more each day.
baby, if you're still awake, call me when you get this.
i've got all this poetry now i didn't know then.
i kept inside.
guess i had never seen anything beautiful
till i first saw you asleep at night.
and i have often wondered who,
who could love you the way i do?
now i just want you to know, how i'm touched deep in my soul just being with you.
and i need you more each day.
baby, if you're still awake, call me when you get this.
i just wanted to know what it was like, what's it really like to be loved?
these little volcanoes came as a surprise to me.
i never thought i could be this way.
and i have been cautious and i've tried to keep to myself, but who could love you the way i do? now i just want you to know, how i'm touched deep in my soul. just being with you.
so much more each day, baby, if you're still awake, call me when you get this

This sarks... thought i've been through sh*t... thought i could bare with the pain and all... but i lost it... Lost it all... Ain't know wad to do... In need of a direction... Thought it could be cool and smooth... But guess i'm wrong once more... Ain't gonna treat it the way I use to no more... No more giving in all I can for it... For all I care now, there's no point in doing so much... You only know how sh*ttified when it backfires... Just let it roll by itself till someday when it shatter on it's own... Weak as I use to be and still am... Read my lips. Beat It!

I'm seriously disappointed and messed up now... In need of a listening ear from any of my friends... but they are no where to be found... Now I know why Connie said about the different kinda friends... Now I understand that statement...

Sigh... If you are reading this now... And you get pissed off or affected by what I say... Pardon me... It's straight from my head at this point of time... I'm not going to delete this post or make changes or whatever... Reason why am I "show-casing" my thoughts is cause I have no one to really talk to... No one that feels me... Feeling so lonely... Sigh... Guess i'll just end here...

A day more two remain apart, a notch lesser of their feelings remain...

Yo Dawgs... Welcome to the most borin' blog eva!!! damn... i'm getting myself into serious dipshits these dayz... hurt both my knees again... stuck inbetween Dancing and Archery or Studies and Relationship... Lord!!! SAVE ME!!! ANYONE!!! i suck... peace out!

24th of March 2006. Doom's day for Ngee Ann Poly Students. Results will be out in just a moment... Peepz, Keep those fingers cross and just pray for the best... I've been summoned from my deathbed once again... come on... let me rest already!!! I'm sick and tired to digging out the daily stuff outta my mind and place em into blog. But hey, that's wad a blog is for anyway. put ya stuff in dere and share it with all. Ok maybe not exactly all but those that knows my blog. Come to tink of it, who knows my blog? BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Alright now, going off for work in sch... Dell Laptops! HERE I COME!!! And all dudes and ladies that i know out there, WISH ME LUCK!
Peace out,
Reaper

Jeff's dead... Death time 23 01 00

I'm not me no more!!!

Man... I'm really STRESSED UP... Exams are killing me... someone plz save me by teaching me how to master integration in 1 night! Sigh... end of me i tell ya... adious amigos....

stressed up... sigh... really stressed up... Why Can't I just give up dancing for now??? Imma fail my papers!!! GG

Hmmm... its been long since i've even visited my blog... as of today, imma update my blog regularly ( I hope). Anyway, Imma wads below is the lyrics from the song "From this moment" Its a very kewl song :) but I'm still finding ways to upload it into the blog so i can share with all.. haha i'm still searching for the ways, if you know, plz leave a comment and tell me how k? haha thankz!!!
Alright, for now, enjoy reading the contents of the song :)

From This Moment

Written by Shania Twain and Mutt Lange.

(I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness
and sorrow, for better or worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

(ps. Nice song lei.. haha those that wants it can find me :) wahahha)